


i'm glad you're back.

by johncasey



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27500737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johncasey/pseuds/johncasey
Summary: It was the nights that were the worst. The empty inbox on his phone. The side of the bed she had claimed as her own, empty. The covers untouched.
Relationships: John Casey & Sarah Walker, John Casey/Sarah Walker
Kudos: 1





	i'm glad you're back.

Casey did not like the idea of Sarah going undercover in Volkoff industries. Not one bit. But it was a mission. He knew she had no choice. Because of the way things happened, he didn’t even get to say goodbye for more than a fleeting glance in Castle as Sarah was taken away. He stole the information from Chuck’s phone and had that way to contact her, but with not only one but two phones connecting to hers, he feared it would put her in even more danger, so he refrained from sending her any messages. The days he was able to deal with. Bartowski, Grimes, and now Alex made it bearable. He wasn’t alone. 

It was the nights that were the worst. The empty inbox on his phone. The side of the bed she had claimed as her own, empty. The covers untouched. Things had been getting harder and harder with the cover relationship she and Chuck had. Sarah and Casey had much less time together than when Chuck was with Lou. It felt like a lifetime ago at this point. Still… neither of their feelings had changed. Casey very much loved Sarah and she proved in more ways than one that she loved him, too. 

Fast forward to dinner with Chuck and Morgan. When Casey’s phone buzzed, he was almost startled, basically everyone that would text him was in the same room as him. It could’ve been Alex but---no. It was Sarah. He immediately knew something wasn’t right, though. He debated on telling Chuck and Morgan. Lying. Saying it was nothing to worry about. That he had to go. Somehow, the words, “It’s Walker,” managed to tumble out of his mouth, though, and he had to make sure that neither Chuck nor Morgan were going to follow. What if someone had figured the two of them out? Chuck would very likely not handle that well at all and they’d have an unstable intersect to deal with. Nobody wanted that.

Casey made his way to the rendezvous point and waited, scenario after scenario flying through his head. He knew it was a trap. He just didn’t what kind of trap. When Sarah kicked the can to alert him of her arrival, he spun around, no idea what to expect. On the list of things that he did not expect, was the punch she threw that landed square in the jaw. It wasn’t anywhere near playful. It was a legitimate punch. It took him a few moments to get his bearings, to fight back. But there was one problem… he didn’t have it in him to legitimately punch her back, knowing that a well placed punch would render her unconscious and he just could not do that. Not to Sarah. Then, there were whispers, she was in trouble. She had to kill him in order to secure her cover.

He had to think fast, and so he did. He came up with the plan to land on the scaffolding. It would work. He would lie there, play dead, and Sarah’s cover would be intact and he’d be sore for a few days. It was no big deal. Of course Bartowski showed up, only complicating the situation far more than necessary and suddenly, Casey was flying out the window. He landed hard on the metal scaffolding, but it had worked. Things were going to be fine. 

And then they weren’t. He didn’t have time to think about anything but Sarah as he fell, the impact knocking him unconscious.

The mind is a funny, funny place. When one is trapped in it, it becomes even funnier. Twisting things around, making you believe false truths, alternate realities take center stage and you have no control over the twists and turns that you may encounter. Or the memories that may haunt you.

For Casey, he was taken back to a night of too much scotch, of heated kisses, and pancakes in the morning. It was stolen touches on a plane, kisses in that one corner of Castle that was blind to surveillance. It was a brush of fingers against the small of Sarah’s back, a late night text that should not have been sent. It was watching Chuck have to cozy back up to Sarah, stealing the nights they had claimed for themselves while he was dating Lou. It was watching with raging jealousy as Chuck and Sarah’s fake relationship had to be taken to higher levels to ensure their cover was air tight. It was stolen moments in broom closets or the back of the crown vic. It was everything important to Casey (that in turn, haunted him), replaying in his mind over and over until finally, he was able to fight back to consciousness. He told them about whatever Sarah had given him. And then, Sarah’s name was the last on his lips.

When he woke up again, Alex was there. “You’re here…” he managed. 

Alex explained that she wasn’t going anywhere, but something gave her pause. “I’ve been here for awhile now, dad… and… I haven’t said anything and no one else heard, but… you kept saying Sarah…” she spoke softly, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. Grimes must’ve been nearby.

Casey didn’t have an explanation, he simply looked back at Alex, wondering if she’d be able to understand what he couldn’t say.

She nodded. She did understand. She was curious, of course, and wanted to know everything---okay, not everything but she did want to know what the hell was going on. She had caught lingering looks from both of them and said nothing. Morgan and Chuck seemed oblivious and she didn’t want to draw it to their attention. But she was Casey’s daughter after all. She was not stupid. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you when she thinks no one’s looking at her…” Alex offered, giving him a nod to indicate that the secret was safe with her. Casey grunted, giving the slightest nod of thanks and appreciation for her words. “She hasn’t talked to Chuck since---” she knew he was wondering, but she had no updated information. “I’m sorry, dad…” she offered. The only thing Casey could do was close his eyes and pray that the tears he felt beginning to sting his eyes did not fall. 

As more time passed, he progressed. They weren’t sure about his legs regaining full use at first, but Casey was determined to prove that he would make a full recovery. He worked hard, following orders from doctors and physical therapists. He was pushing himself around in the wheelchair more often than not, insisting he could do it. That it was good for him. Alex came to visit every day, sending him little messages to let him know she was thinking of him when she wasn’t there. Sometimes it was just an emoji, sometimes words. Alex knew that he was hurting and it was far more deeper than any physical pain could ever affect someone like John Casey.

The days dragged on with no word from Sarah. Chuck, of course, wanted to talk about his feelings and how he missed Sarah and in response, all Casey could do was grunt. “What about you, Casey? Don’t you miss her?” Chuck asked one day. The saddest smile attempted to fall on Casey’s lips and he just nodded, unable to say anything for fear his voice would crack. That’s about the time that Alex rushed them all out of the room. Casey was grateful that she understood him in the way that she did.

There was nothing, nothing that could have prepared him for seeing Sarah show up. No one had warned him. Not even Alex. The first words out of her mouth were an apology. Casey, trying his best to hold it together at the sight of Sarah, blonde again, and standing here in front of him with everyone around them, managed to contain himself. His spy facade cracking only the slightest bit as the hint of a smile appeared on his lips. He almost stood up and tried to rush to her, knowing he was not quite able to do such a thing and how would he explain that anyway? How would he be able to explain the way his arms fit around her perfectly or the way their lips would connect in a kiss. He couldn’t. He couldn’t allow himself to get up. He could only allow himself a few words, but they held heavy, heavy meaning.  
_  
“I’m glad you’re back.”_


End file.
